House of God

The Beginning

Returning and Recovery from the Chaotic light

As I sped pass the moon, the excruciating pain was no more.
Familiar screams followed me, calling me home.
Recent allies' chaotic connections entrapped my soul.
So, I returned to help, only to be massacred once again.
No rewards were granted, only solace, danger, chaos and confusion.

Time sped forward. My mutilated existence would be tested again.
Infusion of light and energy surged through my mind, body and spirit.
As I sped into the celestial bodies into nonexistence,
Pass the bluish and pinkish angels of light,
Pass the dark ones and pass numerous white spheres,
Not planning to return to the chaos and confusion, 
Stopped, dead in my tracks for the third time.
A white celestial being commanded me to return.
It is not your time yet. You are not done.

My vessel was fused with my spirit.
What mission was left undone and why was I the chosen one?
I was lost, confused and fed up with the physical, mental and spiritual games.
That God, heavenly and shadowy forces were playing.

A new future was brought into existence. My free will was no more.
New missions formed. New connections created. 
Did the journey possess shadowy illusions and deceptions?
Tell me God what is your plan.
For me to continue, my spirit must be restored, refreshed and renewed.
Surely a covenant of love, happiness and peace will follow me forever. 

Heavenly and Shadowy forces: Instrument of Death

As the heavenly and shadowy forces played games with my mind,
Creating illusions of false concepts of love, promises and missions.
The heavenly or shadowy forces rose up against me.
Seized my body, overpowered my mind and encased my spirit.
I humbled myself so I could embrace my destiny
And hold God's special key to my existence.

Death, Death and Death was their aim.
Woe! Woe! Woe to the child of the light!
As I entered a bar and restaurant, I followed a path as instructed by the spirits. 
Hold your breath and make a wish for love is around the corner.
It is the only way to heal the deep loneliness.
So, I did what they said, naïvely. 

A burst of light would pop in my head. 
My body collapse. My skull struck the floor.
I was still aware of my surroundings,
But unable to move and speak.
The heavenly and shadowy forces surrounded me.

People in the bar and restaurant screamed.
A crowd formed.
A nurse rose up to investigate.
I heard her voice. " I can not find a pulse."
His eyes are dilated. Pulse returned.

Deep down, the spiritual voices continued to antagonize me:
The spiritual forces would use heavenly and shadowy tools to control my recovery,
Creating illusions to destroy my emotional and spiritual well being; 
And telling me to scream the name of my visionary friend who they used to entrap me.
For that is the one who is your soul mate.
At this stage of the game, I just embraced it.

The ambulance with a police escort arrived. 
The emergency medical team performed their duty.

My reanimation was bleeding with laughter and fear.
An examination revealed a minor concussion.
The hospital released me.

That evening and night the spiritual games continued to traumatize me.

"Sacrifice for one, none or everyone. Chose one." Echoed in my mind.
"Sacrifice for one", I selected to humor them.
To me it made no sense.
It was just a game the forces were playing.

As the incident, my first death, passed. 
The heavenly and shadowy force would still haunt me.
Spiritual warfare just escalated to a new level.
But I was still in control.
So I thought.

It would be the beginning of long series of events.
New physical, mental and spiritual games and challenges would be created.
The heavenly and shadowy forces continued to make my life difficult.
Was it necessary? Did it have a noble goal? 
Was this event, the only way to help others?
Was it the only way to keep me out of a shadowy trap?
I did not know. I just did not know.
So I embraced it.
God, Almighty! God! 
Surely a covenant of love, happiness and peace will follow me forever.

 A Spiritual Calling for a Young Lady

My deep loneliness, my mutilated existence, my unknown mission,
And a deep sense of urgency sent me to a place of hospitality.
I was lost, confused and mutilated due to past chaotic events.
A waitress would be my savior, 

A brief encounter from the past,
A rescuer of some sort, a blessing from God,
An unknowing participate of recovery and healing,
An unknowing participate of mental and spiritual anguish,
Knowing participate of one-sided love, perhaps mutual,
A recruit with enough intelligence and support to assist.

Once Again, the heavenly and shadowy forces rose up against me.
She would also be effected by the chaos. 
The young lady yielded an attractive face with baby brown eyes,

A body to die for and long blond hair.

Her aura was warm, loving and healing. 
It penetrated my mind, body and spirit to such extent
That something happened in my heart and soul.
My soul was peacefully complete.

My mind, body and spirit were being overpowered by my own desires
And covert spiritual forces.
I was fearful and vulnerable during that time.
My environment was chaotic and dangerous.
I sought to avoid frightening her, confusing her or changing her path.
For I know God had a plan for her.
God, what is the meaning of this chaos?
Was she also in some sort of danger?
Did I need to stop her from making a tragic mistake?
Or Was I the target?
I just did not know and I was scared.

So, the drama stayed in the restaurant hoping for more.
It would never come.
I stayed to protect and guide her as God Commanded.
At least I prayed that God was using me in an honorable way.
We flirted and admired each other from near and far.
Mixed messages, confusion and other complexities were manifesting. 
We became pawns of heavenly and shadowy forces.

After a while apprehension came and stayed.
I was worried that I overextended my welcome.
All I was receiving was her acceptance,
But heavenly and shadowy forces were telling me, otherwise.
Five years was enough for fraternization.

One starts to wonder, why I was stuck there and helpless to escape?.
God, What is the meaning of this relationship?
A relationship of mix messages, turmoil and confusion.
I was scared. God knows I was scared.
So I embraced it!

During the episode, the heavenly and shadowy forces continued to be cruel,
Raping my physical, mental and spiritual well being,
Using shadowy tools to torment me with senseless thoughts
Of deceptions, misguided love, false promises and false lies.
Stalking, Stalking, Stalking echoed in my mind.
Other dark thoughts appeared
Unspeakable thoughts that should remained untold.
The emotional and spiritual rape scarred me for life.
My efforts to find a companion would be halted. 
I did not know why? I just did not know why?
So I embrace it in a special way,

Knowing that there would be consequences to my actions.

I notified the civilians, intelligence and law enforcement community, 
Across the United States to bring some light to the situation,
To safeguard life and protect others from the unseen heavenly and shadowy forces,
Who intent was not honorable nor dishonorable, 
Before something tragic happened that I would regret for the rest of my life.
I was afraid and vulnerable.
Dear God, protect and guide me. 
Surely a covenant of love, happiness and peace will follow me forever.

The intensity and the love of the young lady would last me until today.
I wish God blessed this relationship so it could grow into something wonderful.
All I wanted to do was to appreciate her.
Free from the shadowy pressures.
But it was not meant to be.

My unconditional love will always be with her.
She was a kind compassionate young lady who decided to help me.
One day, I hope to encounter the mature woman she became. 
At least, I hope she followed her divine path,

The mission that was ordained by God.

I am so sorry for any emotional or spiritual trauma that transpired

Dear God, protect and guide her.
I still do not know if I was there to help her
Or it was cruel game that the heavenly and shadowy forces played.
The first love, admire from a far, created a lifetime of turmoil. 
I just did not know why?
It is a dreadful feeling that possesses me like the darkness that refused to leave.

God, what was your strategy behind this liaison?!
Was it necessary?
For I was unable to talk at times, unable to express myself and unable to walk away.
It scared me. It really scared me.
For me, It was emotional and spiritual terrorism 

With a glimpse of unconditional love,
But I felt the compassion and love from her. 
Or was it an illusion of heavenly and shadowy forces?

The physical, emotional and spiritual trauma would last a lifetime.
I can not blame her because I know better than that.
I will bring the heavenly and shadowy forces to the light.
God will be my protector and my defender in such matter.
For I am unable to understand the powers.
Justice will prevail.

Dear God, my spirit and emotions must be divinely healed.
I did not escape unscathed.
The cruelty of the universe severely injured my spirit.
The unhealthy relationship with the spiritual world added to the injury.
My spirit cries out for healing and justice. 
God, she is also innocent in such matters.
She aided me in time of need to the best of her ability.

House of God

A fierce spiritual calling seized my mind, body and spirit.
Unrelenting heavenly and shadowy forces nipped at my feet.
The spiritual forces instructed me to enter dark dimensions.
Eventually I ended up on God's doorstep, a house of worship.

The Sermon was over and people were exiting.
It was Palm Sunday, Christ's journey into a new life,

The Sunday before Easter,  Christ's new beginnings. 

I united with a Methodist Pastor.
A discussion proceeded
To make sure I understood the consequences.
Questions were asked. Zero hour was here.
An unknown force, perhaps God sent us a sign.
The front glass door shattered.
Prayers were said. The darkness left in fear.

We traveled up the narrow walkway 
Towards the altar and colorful glass art work
Embodying the image of Christ surrounded by God's aura 
And a dove hovering above.

Conversionary words flowed from the pastor's lips.
For me, saying the exact words was a struggle.
I could except Christ as a Masterful Teacher,
But not as lord, for God held that position.
Words flowed from my lips
What notion was accepted is nebulous.
We advanced to the altar, where the receptacle of holy water resided.

The Pastor's blessed hands entered the holy water
And anointed my mind, body and spirit.
Words from the bible came forth.
A white light flowed from the cosmos. 
Bathed my body, mind and spirit.
Baptized in the House of God, a "Taharah" of some form.

As requested, I returned to the sanctuary that lasted for years
To receive instructions of Judaism and Christianity
Turmoil, severe pain and uneasiness followed me
Originating from the heavenly and shadowy forces.
Perhaps, it was a battle for my soul.
God, Was it necessary?
I did not know. I just did not know.
So I embrace it!

The heavenly and shadowy forces plagued me within the holy place.
Christ, darkness and/or illusions of Christ stormed from the heavens.
The darkness refused to surrender without a battle.
And fused with me, inflicting me with the wounds of Christ.
A spare pierced my torso from the lower right side to the upper left side, 
Spikes penetrated the palm of my hands, 
The wreath of thorns besieged my skull.
I suffered the bruising and beatings of Christ.
I remain calm, cool and collected even though I was scared. 
God knows I was scared, helpless to escape.
So I embraced it!

The holy place embodied a supportive fellowship.
At least, I hope they were ethical and honorable.
For I knew to watch out for shadowy intentions.
I was fearful of the darkness, strangers and conversions,
Helpless to escape, cautious in everything I did.

Theology of Christianity as well as Judaism was illuminated.
Each complemented each other.
The similarities were frightfully enlightening.
I heard stories of practices of hate and discrimination due to dogma.
The theology contained the same truths, but stated in a different manner.
They were both honorable if not twisted or perverted.

The process continued to break me down.
Heavenly and shadowy forces attacked.
The home front was a battlefield due to my Jewry.
It was a spiritual thrashing that I would never forget,
But I was being assaulted from all sides.
So it did not really matter anymore.
It was in God's hands.
So I embrace it in a special way
Knowing that there would be consequences to my actions.

I notified the civilians, intelligence and law enforcement community, 
Across the United States to bring some light to the situation,
To safeguard life and protect others from the unseen heavenly and shadowy forces,
Whose intent were not honorable nor dishonorable, 
Before something tragic happened that I would regret for the rest of my life.
I was afraid and vulnerable.
God protect and guide me. 
Surely a covenant of love, happiness and peace will follow me forever.

Manifestation of spiritual illusion and lies continued to haunt me.
Heavenly and shadowy forces skilled to exploit the numerous theologies 
Tried to scare, control, confuse, murder, destroy, influence and brainwash me.
The Christ Child, Anti Christ and other theologies resonated in my mind.
Messianic, New Age and cosmic concepts embrace me. 
Misplaced guilt, a guilt that snuffs the light, filled my mind.
Why God, do you allow these games to exist?
Your will is a mystery to everyone concern.

Cruel intentions of the spiritual forces emanated.
Why God, do you permit such evil to occur?

Was the transformation a divine scheme or something dark?
The physical, mental and spiritual rape of an innocent is an unnecessary evil.
I want no part of this madness.
I demand justice in such matters.
For I am unable to unravel the intentions of the noble ones.

Looking back, I ask myself what it was all about.
Why I was forced in and out of churches and synagogues?

Why I was summoned to other places, holy as well as unholy?
Why my life was turned upside down and unnecessarily destroyed? 

A vision for special spiritual support came forth, a County Courthouse.

Dear God, my spirit and emotions must be divinely healed.
I did not escape unscathed.
The cruelty of the universe severely injured my spirit.
The unhealthy relationship with the spiritual world added to the injury.
My spirit cries out for healing and justice. 

The Courthouse of God

Upon instructions of the spiritual community's representatives,
A new identity was requested. 
The following reason were given:
Protection from unseen forces for my love ones, 
Permission for me to play a politically dangerous game,
To collect and gather intelligence.
Helpless to refuse;

So, I embraced it.

The spiritual guides directed me to lawyers, judges and detectives.
The portal of the courthouse was open.
My mind was nebulous due to the intense universal pressures.
I entered the courthouse where the Ten Commandments resided.
Eventually arriving at Court Room 9.
The lawyer and I appeared in front of the Judge.
A new identity was granted.
I was no longer the man I was.

I attended the Courthouse regularly as commanded by the spiritual community.
A place of sanctuary from the heavenly and shadowy battles,
A place to cleanse my body, mind and spirit,
A place of powerful support,
A place of law and justice,
A place that would protect and serve,
A command center of some sort,

God's chosen place for me, if I was not a threat to the internal forces within.

Over the years, I observed, listened and educated myself. 
The procedures of law and order nurtured my spirit.
The embodiment of civil and criminal charges made me a stronger person.
The commissioner's order of business was nurturing and enlightening.
A stronger sense of right and wrong developed.

It was scary. God, It was really scary.
Even though, these were honorable, moral and ethical people,
Beware of the shadowy forces whose intent is dishonorable echoed in my mind.
Walked softly and carefully.

I was a loner in the courthouse, a potential target.
Afraid to talk and muted due to the spiritual threats and attacks.
Do not incriminate yourself echoed in my mind.
Even though you are guiltless, the shadowy forces will say otherwise.
Greed, ambition, false accusations, fears, discrimination and hostilities can transpire.
I lacked the education and maturity in such matters.
I wanted to appear normal, even if past events mutilated my being.

The heavenly and shadowy force arose again,
Forcing me to write letters and play with Judges, Detectives and Commissioners. 
Forcing me to do things, I normally did not do.
Forcing me to work in a new reality, a reality that embodied a new spirituality.
Such coercion was the first warning sign of danger.
So, I embraced it, hoping there was an honorable reason for this madness.

My existence, my belief system, actions and social skills were being questioned.
Would I be treated and respected without any thoughts of evil intent?
Would the judges and security use their procedures, policies and laws against me?
Entrapment echoed in my mind.
Unseen physical, mental and spiritual forces were instrumental

The Beginning

A secret government organization received my resume.
The recruitment process started. First Interview granted.
Discussions of intelligence issues, hostile environments and special training came forth.

I stated that the FBI would be a better fit.

Nothing else occurred, except for a briefing.

By chance, an Electromagnetic Engineering position on a military naval base 
Appeared a few months later from a recognized source.
It was a government job, low pay, poor training and fast promotions.
A place where nothing gets done. Do I need to say more?
The first six months transpired with no problems.

Heavenly and shadowy forces arose for the first time.
The physical, mental and spiritual games would start:
Paranormal games of spiritual love, 
                                          star people,
                                              time travel, 
                                                promises of companionship and matrimony
were the catalyst to start the spiritual awakening. 
Spiritual training,
   Inferior Military training, possibly shadowy

     Vietnam Veterans' plight
       Chaotic intelligence training
         Heavenly and shadowy religious training
            And Extra-terrestrial Intelligence training soon followed.

Eventually, the loving supportive climate changed to a hostile one.
Warnings of looming crises and threats transpired.
My new spiritual visitors began to seize my mind, body and spirit.
You do not belong here and you are in danger infiltrated my thoughts.
We have an urgent mission for you entered my mind.
So, I embraced it.

Code name, Firehawk, would be initiated.
A man who operates outside the system to help others from the injustices.
As an interested student, I played with them.
What harm could be done?
A magnificent opportunity arose to experience the paranormal.
Dark requests were carefully scrutinized.
It was an unidentified spiritual calling.

My workplace and home front became spiritually chaotic and hostile.
The heavenly and shadowy forces seized my mind, body and spirit.
The spiritual influences became bizarre and too intense.
Death defying at times. Disruptions occurred more and more often.
So I reported medleys to my boss due to an open door policy custom.
Eventually, I would be victimized by many.

A Pentagon mental health evaluation was encouraged.
The social worker referred me to numerous psychiatrists,
Drug pushing educated idiots in the private sector,
Shadowy helpers in disguise.
All I needed was to start an informal investigation.
And received proper training in such matters.
Disastrous. I played their games.
The mental and spiritual abuse was sinfully evil.
I was scared. God, I was really scared.
So I decide to embrace it.

I finish what they started. I had nothing to loose. Everything to gain.

The intelligence was vital information.
Helpless to escape, 

I reported the escapades to the intelligence agency.
Subject matter was too vital to ignore. 

And the spiritual pressures made me vulnerable.
The recruiter listened. She reported. I return to my home.
A phone call came asking for permission to start a background investigation.
Yes, I replied.
I was scared, God knows I was scared.
So, I embrace it!

My spiritual guides instructed me to crash and burn.

Messages of Stingray, Firehawk, KGB, moles, treason, death and WWIII

Penetrated my mind. 
Religious concepts such as Christ, the Antichrist 

and the merging of the Star of David and the Cross came forth.
Helpless to escape,  I decided to sacrifice myself for a just cause

In case the warnings were real.
Voices came. Make sure no one gets hurt. Help others to help themselves.

Messages of love, trust and understanding also materialized.

In God, we love and trust also surfaced.
Eventually, I vacationed at a mental health facility
As the secret government organization watched.

The heavenly and shadowy forces rose up against me.
I was naïve, innocent and untrained child of the light.
Dear God, was there a real problem in the intelligence community?
Were there criminal activities on the base?

Were there illegal activities in the intelligence community?
Were the warnings real or did I become a pawn in a vicious game?
Did I do the right thing?
The cruelty of the spiritual forces would follow me back home.
That is where I returned after I was fired, hospitalized, brutalized and abandoned.
Of Course, the secret government organization may have watched from a distance.
One will never know.

It was test for me as well as for them.
I vaguely understood the consequences of my actions. 
I misjudged the aftermath of such encounters.

I embrace it due to the intensity of the spiritual games and urgent warnings.

As a result,  an unintentional, unofficial deep undercover operation began.
God, what is this all about?
Surely a covenant of love, happiness and peace will follow me forever.

Was I the target or the town idiot?
Were people in danger?
Why did they shoot the messenger?
Why did the community victimized me?
Why was the intelligence community support so careless?

A community that I trusted and respected, 
We both were fighting for the same cause to create a better world.
Perhaps, they covertly watched.
But why did they refuse to help 
And brief and debrief me in such matters?

It was just a game so I thought.
My physical, mental and spiritual health was fine
Until the physical, mental and spiritual backlash from the events
Decided to continue to follow me home
To inflict more pain and suffering for no godly reason.
I did not escape unscathed.
I just played the game.
It was so strong.
So I embrace it!

Years later, the intelligence community 
Discovered deep moles in the intelligence agencies.
Numerous deaths of secret agents and disasters occurred.
Terrorism and Iraqi wars became news items.
Evidence of star people with spiritual messages of love surfaced.
My own visions became real in other facets of life.
But my death did not happen as my visions foretold, sort of.
What other things happen that were not publicly released still haunt me.
Justice! Justice! God's Justice will prevail!
Injustices will not be tolerated.
In God, we love and trust.

Warning: Please investigate policies and procedures, laws and regulations and history of the organization. If you become suspicious or threatened, find help elsewhere. Guard against questionable practices, carelessness, negligence, criminal activities, off the record conduct, biases, misinformation, re-victimization, misguidance and misdirection when seeking assistance. Know your individual rights, the right to collect information on any subject matter and the right to use other resources, if necessary. Check your instincts from time to time. Proper help is not always available. As a result, other healthy socially accepted methods must be established. Know when to request professional backup for protection.