Throughout my life, career and development, obtaining references from my neighbors, relatives, friends, coworkers, colleagues and teachers was very difficult for me because strong personal relationship with people was fleeting. I do not know when, why, where or how these relationships became estranged but some unseen forces seem to break off all connections over time. Was the estrangement due to different religions, spirituality, cultures, missions, discriminatory practices, personal issues, law enforcement orientation, criminal activities, investigations, superficiality, opinions and attitudes? Were we just too busy to be neighborly or sociable? It escalated to a point that I was unable to approach them, talk to them or ask for references because of the lack of interaction, social skills from all parties, communication and security. As a result, we all became strangers and references were diminishing.

Do not get me wrong, usually I had a good working relationship with people, but I always had mental reservations about asking for references from people who I did not really know on a personal level or became alien. Our society has created a system of privacy, superficiality, unsociability and paranoia that allows people to hide their true character. In my case, I never had a strong magnetism that attracted people for advice, fun, work or socialization. I had my own personal charmed but not to the extent that I was completely accepted in the social environment.  At times, I started to attract the wrong ungodly crowd which scared me.  As a result, the community family disappeared. I became a stranger in my own community.  God only knows why! Looking back, I may have been protected by the light of God from ungodly situations. 

Throughout my educational curriculum, my teachers taught classes according to school policy. I was good, well-adjusted student and liked by my teachers but I never developed a personal relationship with them that would permit me to ask for references without reservations or feel comfortable socialize with them. In addition, approaching teachers on any subject matter was scary, I was afraid of criticism, reprimand, feeling stupid or inadequate, being a bother or being victimized by a stranger or by my own peers.  And the teachers, who I asked, gave me references that were encouraging but lacked the strong personal touch and backing. I really did not care that the references were not perfect, I was just glad that I was able to obtain any references. Anyway, How well can teachers know their students? Did it hurt me in getting me into schools or finding a healthy working environment? I do not know.

In the working world, I worked with others on a personal level and there were others such as superiors, colleagues or coworkers who were unreachable. We were required to work diligently. Playing politics and building ties with people were challenging, but futile in the end. My training in such matter was negligible, but perhaps proper managing or friendly advice could help build me up where I needed it. I seemed to always fall short of proper help. I will never know why? I played by the rules, followed the code of ethics, worked to the best of my ability and tried to help where I could. I always had fear about approaching the boss, asking for help, asking for references, being victimized and letting them see my vulnerabilities.

Eventually, later in life, I would learn quickly that a working environment that started as calm and demure could end up hostile physically, mentally and spiritually. Even though, I worked diligently. It just did not matter. They always found shortcoming, failed to address issues or aborted proper management training in regards to personality conflicts, problems or so-called failures. No explanation was given only blame and secrecy. Was it a spiritual thing? If I did have problems, they addressed complications in a threatening way by firings, mental health abuse or denials. I do not know what it was all about but my environment became physically, mentally and spiritually hostile for reasons unclear. I was clueless at times. Under these conditions, asking for references can be stressful.

The physical, mental and spiritual environment became hostile for reasons unclear. Healthy friendly support became fleeting, hostile and ungodly. The only references I could obtain were from complete strangers who did not know me well. At times, I was spiritually forced to scantily utilized unsolicited law enforcement references because I was encountering alien difficulties in the community. It was stressful because of the unknown reprisals. Eventually, I had to notify the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Chester County Courthouse and other law enforcement agencies about the trouble that I was encountering in the community. At times, hap hazardously.

Even when I participated in numerous organizations or associations as well as the business community, references were questionable even though I legitimately asked for references. It became difficult for me to remain in contact due to my own insecurity, security concerns and the reference sincerity. People change, people lose contact, people transpire, questionable character traits emerged and people social skills deteriorate so references became challenging. Was it fear of rejection, lack of networking skills, security concerns, inability to get to know the people personally or a spiritual thing? I just do not know anymore. I pray to God for assist me in discovering the truth in such subject matters.

Eventually, I found myself sitting in the Courthouse for fifteen years attending commissioners meetings, listening to court cases and meeting people from all walks of life but I was never able to build a healthy personal bond with none of them. As a result, strong references could not be found. Too them, I was stranger in the courthouse, a potential threat since I was not a government employee or social insider. I do not know why? I figure, references were out of the question.

Through out the process, I did have physical, mental and spiritual challenges to overcome so I can not say I was perfect in anyway. I had a strong spiritual calling that I did not understand, but I embraced it the best I could. Solid recommendations were hard to find. These recommendations should be more than a couple encounters, not a superficial one so I thought. Eventually, I decided to notify law enforcement from local to national to cover myself from the threatening environment. I wanted to stop any situation that could spiral out of control. 

These days, the few references that I have collected over the years, I am reluctant to give anybody references because I afraid that if I get mixed up in the wrong crowd that retaliation and revenge may be used against them due to my strong law enforcement orientation. It is called, catch 22. Obtaining and checking reference can be very traumatic. 

I am sharing this information with my friends to reveal to some hidden dangers in obtaining references or building healthy bonds. Below is the proper way for checking and obtaining references with unique security comments. If you are lucky, a good personal and working relationship exists with your references free of legal restrictions or mental reservations. Else, you may find yourself in a unique predicament and unique challenging to overcome in your career path.

If you have difficulty in obtaining references,  please do not take chance with your life, physically, mentally, financially and spiritually,  do not hesitate to ask for help it may save your life or soul. Please keep in mind that the community may target a person, organizations and other entities physically, spiritually or mentally so make sure to take steps to prevent unnecessary hostilities or misguidance.

Ask for help from the following resources:

Conclusion:

Obtaining references seem to be easy for some people, but for others it can be challenging and dangerous at times. Use your own instinct to determine the best course of action for acquiring references. If you seem to becoming isolated, a potential target, disoriented with the process or community references are questionable, please notify law enforcement or others professionals. Beware of physical, mental and spiritual games that may surround you, others and the environment. Stay alert. References should be easy to obtained, but be careful of pitfalls, strange politics and criminal activities. Beware of the legal issues that are associated with references. It may get to the point that the person should just list the place they have visited and let the investigator talk them. That way no one has to worry about security issues, public relation problems, legal issues, shady references, retaliations, spiritual problems, misplaced guilt or dangerous physical, mental, spiritual and  political games when things go wrong. Society must come up with a plan to address the problems with references and related godly or ungodly practices.