Foreword
In the world of Counterintelligence, proper dating practices should be
implemented to ensure a healthy relationships in a crime free environment. I wish that we lived
in a world of trust and unconditional love, but this not always true. Practicing
proper dating skills will help the person to find your ideal companion. Finally,
dating crime and violence can be prevented because the new techniques can be
used to create healthy relationships, physically, mentally, financially
and spiritually. This series should help friends,
family members and strangers who are encountering problems.
Dating Violence
Let us define dating violence. Dating violence is pattern of abusive behavior by a companion. Abusive behavior is any intentional act that is designed
to degrade, criticize, harass, injure and control the other person. It includes verbal,
sexual, physical, emotional, financial and spiritual abuse and conditioning.
We must learn how to build a healthy relationship. Learn about yourself as well
as the other person. Research, read and study proper dating practices and self
improvement resources. It will help reveal who you are, guide you to the right
person with admirable qualities plus minor qualities. If you believe in God, he
or she will have the final say.
A healthy relationship is one that allows both parties to enjoy life and build
each other up in a positive uplifting way. It is an avenue to
questions, problems, emotions and other friendly needs. Both parties must realize
that healthy relationships may fail for physical, mental, financial and
spiritual reasons. Through out the process, both parties should remain in good
spirits and positive. A healthy relationship must contain a
healthy physical, mental, financial and spiritual synergy that builds each other up.
Here are a few techniques for dating. Treat your date with honor, respect,
courtesy and integrity. Express your feelings about your physical, emotional,
financial and spiritual needs and wants in the relationship. Be yourself. Be truthful, but
sensitive. Let us face it, an abusive relationship will not work. It takes both people to
build a healthy relationship physically, mentally, financially and spiritually.
In today's world, dating practices contain plethora of misconceptions and
myths:
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Women like men who take control of the situation
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When women says "No", they do not mean "NO". It means
"YES".
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If I put more effort and adapt, he or she will treat me better.
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I paid for dinner, trip or anything else. She owes me sex.
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I am nothing without my boy/girlfriend even if mistreated.
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| Men or women are supposed to be the stronger sex and
dominant. |
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If I report abusive behavior to my friends, they will blame me.
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| What I see on television and movies are based on real
stories. |
| What I read in newspapers, magazines and books must
be true. |
| Playing Games with people's emotions are an
acceptable society's practice. |
| God has bless me with this companion or soul mate, so
it is meant to be. |
Here is the truth:
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No one likes being controlled.
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| No one likes playing physical, mental, financial and
spiritual games that are unhealthy, confusing, frightening and
dangerous to both parties. |
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Always take a woman at her word. When she says "No", she means
"NO".
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We want to avoid physical, emotional and spiritual havoc, child support,
medical, legal and financial problems.
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Victims of abuse are never to be blamed. One must break the silence to find
proper help, but be careful that you avoid abusive help. Abusers may
create misplace guilt and place blame on the victim. Even when we are being abused, we should use and learn good
communications skills to prevent any form of abuse. |
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When you treat your date to dinner, concerts or a trip, the companion owes you
only a "thank you". The reward is friendship
with a compassionate human being. |
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Even if you are alone, you are a very important person. Remember that
you should
always treat oneself with respect and integrity. Love yourself first
and everything else will fall in place. |
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We must create healthy relationships by communicating clearly, avoid dangerous
situations by using crime prevention techniques and control your actions in a
healthy socially accepted way.
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Communicate your ideas clearly. Let your companion know how you want to be
treated. Let them know that any abuse will not be tolerated.
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Avoid dangerous situation by choosing public places where you will not be alone.
Help will always be available. Study counterintelligence and self-protection.
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Think before you act. Create alternatives for getting home. Pay your own way.
Avoid using alcohol, drugs or other substance that will impair your judgment and
make you helpless.
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| Do not believe everything you see on television,
movies or read in books. |
| Make sure that God clearly shares information with
you about your soul mate. |
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Look for a better companion, avoid these character flaws.
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Always trust your instincts. If you are unsure about the person, get to know the
person before going out on a date. Check for ID and references. Do your own
personal background investigation. Talk on the phone or write letters to the other
person. If a person refuses to discuss your concerns, you should question
going any further.
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Old Fashion
Advice: Before making any decision about marriage,
sex or other life changing decisions, make sure you know your
companion inside and outside. Explore each others physical,
emotional, financial and spiritual needs and wants completely.
It will prevent undesirable consequences, surprises or traumas
physically, mentally, financially and spiritually.
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Thinking
About Getting Married, Think About Prenuptials:
Our society has become cruel, deceptive,
frightening, dynamic and unpredictable. The divorce rate among
couples is approximately 50 percent. A person can not afford the
luxury of romance when getting married in today's world.
Prenuptials are ways to protect your property, business ventures,
sanity and physical, mental, financial and spiritual health.
Discuss prenuptials with your companion to protect yourself against
painful consequences.
Prenuptials are important if you are independently
wealthy, drowning in legal debt, or swamped with other problematic
issues. A single divorce can destroy both parties' physical, mental,
financial and spiritual health. Excess baggage or unresolved issues
can make your married life a living nightmare. If you are
physically, mentally and spiritually disabled, unable to work or
afflicted with other problems, then you will have problems making a
living. A person could end up on the street without any visible form
of support.
People may change over the years because of
religious, spiritual, cultural, political, financial and
international differences. Other changes may include money issues,
questionable friends and disabilities. In addition, crime, violence
and other unwanted physical, mental and spiritual games may play a
role in creating a hostile climate that can also destroy the
relationship. As we age, we may encounter problems that limit how we
perform in business, interact at home and socialize. People change
and grow apart for reasons unclear. God and other undue influences
may overpower us and make our life difficult. Things may be beyond
our control to save the marriage. Marriage does not mean living
happily ever after anymore. Protect yourself from seen or unseen
physical, mental and spiritual problems by addressing these issues
before they start. Sometimes truth is fleeting until it is too
late.
A prenuptial agreement has no say in child support
and custody judgments. Address this issue before getting married.
Add this expense to your calculations. Love is blind at times. Make
sure your sweetheart does not take advantage of you and your
situation.
If both parties agree to a prenuptial, each party
will need separate attorneys to set up a prenuptial. Collect,
gather, research and investigate prenuptials and related subject
matters in each state to make sure what is legally accepted and you
acquire the right information.
Before getting married, research marriage and
create a crisis management plan to address marital issues,
destructive issues and the future consequences of the break up. Ask
God to protect and guide you on your journey. By preparing in
advance, your physical, mental, financial and spiritual well being
will remain healthy. |
Dating Violence that can create problems are the following:
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Emotional abuse
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Destroys the person self esteem, compassion for others and creates guilt. |
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Uses silent treatment or improperly withholds affections. |
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Uses threats, confusion or control the person actions. |
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Unable to control jealousy, anger and other unacceptable behavior. |
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Creates confusion and
unrealistic expectations. |
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Promises of marriage, love and
soul mates. |
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Creation of false hopes, misinformation and any type of deception. |
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Unwelcome sexual comments, abusive or experiences. |
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Mental health threats and abuse. |
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Religious or spiritual terrorism in any form.
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Physical Abuse
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Causes physical pain or injury
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Watch out for signs of punching, shaking, pushing, grabbing, slapping, tickling,
hugging or kicking. Anything that could cause discomfort or is unwanted.
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Use of any kind of weapons to illustrate a point.
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Corruptive use of drugs, prescription, non-prescription or illegal drugs. |
| Forced
into unwanted situations without a proper explanation and support. |
| Improperly
uses the person for money, gifts or other financial matters.
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Sexual Abuse
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Unwelcome sexual comments, kissing or intercourse.
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Date rape is forced sexual intercourse between two people who know each
other.
It is common and serious.
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Spiritual Abuse (Author's Viewpoint)
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| Special Note:
If you suspect that you are involved in an unhealthy relationship, get help and
walk away. It is common practice to question whether abuse occurred and if it was
your fault. If you believe you were abused then you were mistreated. Trust
yourself to do what is right. |
Ask for help from the following resources:
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Find a professional who understands all aspects of your physical,
mental and spiritual situation. Be careful that you are not mislead or
overpowered by
physical, mental and spiritual undue influences. Do your own research.
Hire experts. Recruit people. Avoid frivolous law suits. |
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If you are harmed physically, emotionally and spiritually, get medical attention
or other help. |
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Talk with someone who can help such as friends, mental health professionals,
clergy or special law enforcement people. If necessary, look for counseling even if it
happen a while ago. |
| Look for written information
such as booklets. |
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Network, Seek Assistance and Check out with extreme care:
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Continue improving your business and personal life. |
Another important aspect of Dating Violence is helping a victim of violence.
Things to do for self Improvement, self protection and self
preservation.
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Examine and understand your own self esteem.
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Understand and use positive thinking techniques that build you up.
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Understand and combat questionable peer pressure.
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Learn about conflict resolution, decision-making, and stress management.
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Learn about proper family relations and family violence.
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Learn about mental health issues to avoid ignorance misguidance and trickery.
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Stay healthy, build lasting friendships and get a good education.
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Stay away from drugs and people who use drugs.
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Learn Proper dating practices to avoid violence and misguidance.
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Learn Proper relationship practices with your spouse or loved one.
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Learn about Crime and Violence Prevention and Counterintelligence and Executive
Protection.
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Learn about law enforcement , proper business skills and criminal fraud.
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Learn how to prevent obsessive behavior, jealousy , abnormal behavior or
suicides.
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Learn about cultural diversity, religious communities and cults.
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| Learn to remain silent, peaceful and loving when people
insult, oppress, humiliate, harass and harm you. Let God's power work
through
his/her children. Wait for God's permission to defend yourself. |
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Always test the spirits, eliminate unnecessary spiritual guides and do your own
background investigation.
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Adapt, filter and block unwanted mental thoughts or spiritual frequencies of the mind through meditation,
biofeedback, hypnosis, visualizations, real world experiences, social events,
counseling, self improvement techniques and people's support, etc.
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Create a supportive work and community environment. If necessary, recruit people
for assistance.
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Listen to messages from higher spiritual entities
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| Take Courage, put on the armor of God and stand firm. |
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Conclusion:
I would recommend researching and understanding proper dating techniques
and healthy relationships. Communicate
your wishes and expectations at all times. Master the warning signs of dating
violence and take immediate action if you become a victim. Let us stop the cycle
of abuse by applying proper dating practices. Let God, guide and protect you
along your journey. I would also recommend that you share this information
with your companion and others for future relationships.
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